The Puppy Blues - Let’s Discuss the Highs and Lows of New Dog Ownership
If you are struggling with being very depressed after getting a puppy, you are not alone.
Back in September 2023, I did it—I finally brought home that fluffy, wiggly bundle of joy I had been dreaming about for a few months, Chewie.
I started looking forward to having a puppy around the spring of 2023 when my family and I headed to the UK and Ireland for our big trip (as we had no dog at the time to tend to).
My Bichon Frise Brady sadly passed in December 2022 at the age of 14 due to oral cancer and heart failure. It was a terrible time.
A month before that, I had a wonderful friend and writing client who unexpectedly and suddenly passed away as she was my age from RSV.
And it was right around the time I discovered I was diabetic as well. It was a horrible time.
Fast forward to September 16th, 2023 when we got our cockapoo puppy.
The house was filled with the pitter-patter of tiny paws, the joyful yips, and that unmistakable new puppy smell.
In those first few days, I was on cloud nine. This was my imagined happy, Instagram-worthy life - playtime, snuggles, and an instant best friend.
But then, slowly, the rose-colored glasses start to slip. That puppy energy I found so endearing quickly became exhausting.
With the nonstop barking, the puddles on the floor, and the torn-up furniture, my home felt more like a warzone than the peaceful haven I envisioned.
It worsened things when Chewie refused to be crate trained and kept us up by howling and barking at night.
After consulting with a dog trainer, we ditched the crate and he finally began to sleep with my husband peacefully.
Doubt and frustration crept in. Is this really what I signed up for, and what have I done? That was all I was thinking.
I was beginning to miss Brady even more, and I started really not wanting anything to do with Chewie.
It sadly reminded me of the old days when I had postpartum depression.
I remember bravely venting about my frustrations with having a new puppy and not even realizing what I had done, and someone said to me:
Welcome to the puppy blues.
Then, I began to learn more about the puppy blues.
What Are the Puppy Blues?
According to Very Well Mind, the puppy blues is that emotional rollercoaster many new dog owners experience in those early weeks and months.
While the joy of bringing home a new furry companion is real, so are the challenges, stress, and occasional regret.
It's a normal part of the adoption process but challenging to work through.
First, know that you're not alone if that is what you are dealing with or have dealt with before, like I did.
Puppy blues are prevalent, affecting many new dog owners.
There's a reason the initial weeks of puppy parenthood are often referred to as the "fourth trimester."
It’s a major life transition that can be just as mentally and physically demanding as bringing home a new human baby.
Overnight, your schedule, home, and lifestyle must adjust to accommodate this needy little creature.
It's a huge, often unexpected, change.
Those feelings of doubt and frustration are entirely valid.
Raising a puppy is hard work—way harder than you may have anticipated—with a constant need for attention, mess, sleep deprivation, and training struggles.
It can all feel overwhelming, especially if you're going through it alone.
Sometimes, it's normal to wonder if you made a mistake or were even cut out for this.
Puppy Blues Are Not Forever
But the good news is, the puppy blues don't last forever. It is not a thing anymore with Chewie, as he has turned into an amazing dog.
Therefore, you and your new pup will settle into a rhythm with time, patience, and the right strategies.
Those initial sleepless nights will give way to peaceful slumbers.
The accidents on the floor will dwindle as potty training clicks.
And that manic puppy energy will evolve into a (mostly) well-behaved companion (he still has his moments, but they all do).
In the meantime, here are some tips to help you get though the highs and lows of new dog ownership:
Lean on your support system. This is not the time to struggle alone. Reach out to friends and family members who have been through this before.
Join local dog owner groups online and in person to connect with others who understand exactly what you're going through. That community of understanding ears and sympathetic shoulders can make all the difference.
Prioritize self-care. It's easy to get so caught up in meeting your puppy's endless needs that you neglect your own well-being. But taking care of yourself has to be a priority.
Ensure you're getting enough sleep, eating regular meals, and squeezing in moments of relaxation, even if it's just a quick walk around the block.
Enlist your partner, friends, or a dog walker to give you occasional breaks. Your puppy needs you at your best.
Manage your expectations. The "perfect" puppy you see all over social media is largely an illusion. It also hit me more as I was expecting Chewie to be like Brady which only created more tension.
Every dog is different, and the reality of puppy parenthood is messier than the highlight reel.
Know that there will be good and bad days, successes and setbacks. Focus on small, achievable goals rather than trying to have a fully trained pup overnight. You will also want to:
Stick to a routine. Puppies thrive on structure and predictability. Establish a consistent daily schedule for feedings, potty breaks, playtime, training, and rest. The more you can create a sense of normalcy, the easier it will be for both you and your pup to adapt.
Get professional help. If you're really struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to a certified trainer or animal behaviorist. They can provide invaluable guidance on everything from housebreaking to addressing behavioral issues. It's a worthwhile investment that can make your life exponentially easier.
Most importantly, be patient and kind with yourself. Raising a puppy is a massive undertaking, and there's a huge learning curve involved.
It's okay if you feel completely overwhelmed at times. With time and perseverance, those initial challenges will start to smooth out.
In fact, just when you think you can't take one more accident or sleepless night, a magical transformation starts to happen. That hyper, mouthy little bundle gradually grows into a calmer, more obedient dog.
The training clicks, the potty issues are resolved, and suddenly, your home feels peaceful again.
And with that newfound harmony comes an even deeper bond and appreciation for your furry friend.
Because here's the thing about puppy blues—they're not just a necessary evil; they're also a sign that you care deeply, that you're investing emotionally in this relationship, and that you want nothing more than for it to thrive.
That initial struggle paves the way for the profound joy and unconditional love that comes with dog ownership.
So embrace the ups and downs. Celebrate the small victories.
And remember that this phase won't last forever. Before you know it, that needy, rambunctious pup will mature into a loyal, loving companion who enriches your life in ways you never imagined.
The puppy blues may be real, but so is the heart-swelling bliss of watching your new best friend grow, learn, and become an irreplaceable part of your world. I am so glad I stuck it out with Chewie.
I remember those days! It can be totally overwhelming. Your photos of Brady and Chewie are beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with us. Hugs
Firstly, what beautiful pups! And secondly: this is eye-opening because when you think about it, bringing in a new puppy CAN be just like adding a baby to the family in so many ways! And no one is giving a voice to people in this vulnerable and emotional period of time even though we're ALL aware that it can happen to anyone of us. Great read!