Mean Girls Rarely Evolve and Keep Coasting in Life

This is the harsh truth about their entitlement and avoiding responsibility.

Mean girls gossiping with each other. Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Oh, the mean girls, as most of us have dealt with them at some point in life. I was the ultimate bullying target between grades 8 and 9 as I was the ugly duckling (but I never did turn into a beautiful swan, and I don't really even care, tbh). 

But I was that socially awkward, overweight, and acne-filled shy kid who never stood up for herself, so I allowed the mean girls (and some boys) to get to me. I did seek vengeance years later, which I will write about in the future. 

But I will not focus on that now. I want to talk about the mean-girl phenomenon and how, most of the time, they rarely grow up!

The Infamous "Mean Girl" Type

We've all encountered them before - those Regina George-esque personalities who seem to float through life, always sidestepping the consequences of their cruel, manipulative actions.

The "mean girl" archetype is practically seared into the collective cultural consciousness, thanks to iconic films like Mean Girls.

But here's the unfortunate truth - these mean girls rarely, if ever, outgrow their toxic behaviors, especially if they've been shielded from real accountability throughout their lives.

The reasons behind this are deeply rooted in a sense of entitlement and a complete lack of consequences.

Coasting on Charm and Cruelty from Day One

These girls appear quite charming. Photo by Morris Fayman on Unsplash

From a young age, these mean girls have often been insulated from facing the music for their misdeeds.

Whether it's overindulgent parents, a complicit social circle, or an education system that turns a blind eye, they've learned that they can get away with being downright awful. And that breeds one thing - entitlement.

The belief is that they can continue to behave like raging bullies, secure in the knowledge that their charisma, looks, or social status will always protect them.

After all, their manipulative tactics have worked wonders so far - why would they ever feel compelled to change?

Feeding the Vicious Cycle

What's more, the mean girl's success in maintaining their position within the social hierarchy only reinforces this sense of entitlement.

They've discovered that their cruelty can be a powerful tool, whether it's landing a romantic partner, advancing their career, or simply preserving their reign of terror.

And their social circle is often all too eager to enable this dynamic, either out of fear or a desire to reap the benefits of the mean girl's domination. It's a vicious cycle that just keeps spinning.

Stuck in an Emotional Feedback Loop

The most alarming aspect is the sheer lack of self-awareness. These mean girls rarely develop the emotional intelligence or introspective capabilities to recognize the deeper roots of their behavior.

Instead, they double down on the cruelty, using it as a defense mechanism to shield their fragile ego and maintain the illusion of control.

And in the professional realm, mean girls can leverage their charm, connections, and perceived competence to climb the corporate ladder, with their toxic behavior even being rewarded as long as they continue to deliver results and uphold that shiny veneer of success.

Breaking the Cycle of Entitlement

So, how do we finally put an end to this mean girl cycle? It's going to take a multifaceted approach - one that combines individual introspection, societal accountability, and a concerted effort to cultivate empathy, emotional intelligence, and a culture of personal growth.

At the individual level, mean girls need to be challenged to confront their own behavior and the underlying issues fueling their cruelty.

This may involve professional intervention, such as therapy or coaching, to help them 

develop the self-awareness and emotional maturity necessary to break free from their toxic patterns. But it can't stop there. We need to create environments, from schools to workplaces, where mean-girl behavior is simply not tolerated.

Robust anti-bullying policies, a culture of respect and inclusion, and a willingness to speak up when we witness this toxicity in action - that's the kind of change that can truly make a difference.

Addressing the Societal Factors

Photo by Brian Wangenheim on Unsplash

Ultimately, we must also tackle the broader societal factors that contribute to the rise of mean girl behavior, such as the obsession with appearances, the pressure to conform to unrealistic standards, and the emphasis on status and material success over compassion and personal growth.

By reshaping these norms and promoting a more holistic, values-driven approach to personal fulfillment, we can help create environments that are less conducive to the cultivation of mean-girl tendencies.

It's a daunting challenge but one that's essential if we want to see meaningful change and the emergence of a society where kindness, empathy, and personal accountability are the new currency.

Only then can we hope to witness these mean girls finally start to grow up and shed their toxic ways.

It won't be easy, but it's a fight worth having - the consequences of letting this problem fester are far too high to ignore.